Feedback for the first draft of 'the Wish List'

In the feedback I got was some valuable points and some bad feedback. The feed back me and my group got was:

• The doctors speech didn't flow and it didn't sound like an older man. Get someone else to do the doctors speech with more enthusiasm rather than being really boring. Rehearse line as the dialogue sounds like you are reading from something.
• Take out the last scene as it is not needed or cut the walking scene as it is too long. The ending is a good ending and makes it seem more like a film opening. It also makes you ask more questions about what is happening and what is going to happen.
• Add music to the ending clips of Sophia walking as it makes the ending boring without the music. This will make the ending have the same mood as it did at the beginning of the film opening.
• The voice over of Sophia needs to be redone as she needs to talk slower to present that she is sad and to portray her emotions to the audience. It needs to be more heart felt.
• The titles are to quick so it is hard to read them. Make them longer and maybe change the font and the titles transition and they are boring.
• The shots do not join very well so edit them using transitions. Use more effects.
• The flash backs were lovely and beautiful. The lens flare effect is beautiful and the voice over and her looking back at her memories is a lovely idea. The phone call volume is too loud and quite granny. The voice on the phone should sound more convincing and should be rehearsed. Walking scene at the end is long without music and it makes us ask questions like "is she okay?" "What's wrong with her?"

Me and my group have taken the feed back into account and are changing the opening scene by making the titles longer, having music throughout opening, re-recording audio and making start later on into the opening. Her are some of the feedback sheets we got back.